Welcome back to school and to the start of what promises to be another busy half term. There will be plenty to stay in touch with as the second half of this Autumn Term unfolds. I trust that you and your children return having enjoyed some important family togetherness time and moments that will translate into happy memories in the weeks and months to come.
Here at Edge Grove, members of our admin, finance and IT teams have kept respective departments in good operating shape and our maintenance and gardening/grounds teams have been working on a few special holiday projects that are only possible when the children are away. Fields and grounds, too, have been well prepared for the remainder of the football and hockey seasons and to get things ready for the upcoming Bonfire Night and Fireworks display this coming Saturday evening.
Our Edge Grove senior boys’ football team had the great pleasure and privilege of having enjoyed a trip to Barcelona during the second week of the half term. Accompanied by our Director of Sport and Co-Curricular, Brian McManus, and their coach, Tom Wallis, the boys gave a good account of themselves on the fields of play and, just as importantly, as we have been told, off the field as well.
Please click here to read more about the tour and please find below an affirming and wonderfully complimentary email sent from a complete stranger following his contact with the boys and their coaches at Gatwick Airport prior to them departing.
Good morning,I wanted to congratulate you on the behaviour of your students at Gatwick Airport this morning.They were all exceptionally polite, and well mannered. Truly great ambassadors for your school, and a credit to you.Wishing you an enjoyable half term.
As you will all know by now, our new headteacher, Ed Balfour, his wife, Emma, and their three children, will be joining Edge Grove Prep from 1st January 2023. As we look forward to their arrival, it will be important for parents to meet and listen to Mr Balfour sharing his early observations and impressions, his vision for the school and the direction he intends to take it in as his tenure begins in January.
In order to facilitate this, we will be hosting a series of parents’ meetings in the weeks ahead. We will be hosting the first of these in the form of a Year 6 Parents’ meeting this coming Thursday 3rd November. All such meetings will take place in the Apthorp Building. Given that we are fast approaching the busy November and December period, dates and times of further meetings will be decided on and communicated through when we are able to overlay Mr Balfour’s own busy schedule with that of our own. Every effort will be made to hold parent year group meetings with him this half term if at all possible.
A sincere thank you to the many families who donated food and other goods as their offerings on Harvest Festival Day a few weeks ago.
A representative from the Watford Food Bank arrived at school during the half term break to collect the donations. The food bank is enormously grateful. They will send Edge Grove a certificate and the details of the weight collected once they have processed all the donations. We have also asked their representative, Mr Andrew Tranter, to speak to the children at an assembly in the weeks ahead.
We understand that the Watford Food Bank gets through 2.5 tonnes of food a week, with last month being their busiest ever on record.
The following article was sent through to me a few weeks ago and serves as an interesting prompt on the subject of 21st Century parenting and the need to be alert to what requires special attention as we equip and empower our precious children.
Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do. Her advice makes for some interesting reading at this early stage of the new academic year and as we look forward to all that the months immediately ahead will be bringing our way as parents.
Amy encourages us all as follows:
“Raising mentally strong kids who are equipped to take on real-world challenges requires parents to give up the unhealthy — yet popular — parenting practices that are robbing kids of mental strength.
Of course, helping kids build mental muscle isn’t easy — it requires parents to be mentally strong as well. Watching kids struggle, pushing them to face their fears, and holding them accountable for their mistakes is tough. But those are the types of experiences kids need to reach their greatest potential. Parents who train their children’s brains for a life of meaning, happiness, and success, avoid these 13 things:
1. They Don’t Condone A Victim Mentality
Getting cut from the soccer team or failing a class doesn’t make your child a victim. Rejection, failure, and unfairness are part of life. Rather than allow kids to host pity parties or exaggerate their misfortune, mentally strong parents encourage their children to turn their struggles into strength. They help them identify ways in which they can take positive action, despite their circumstances.
2. They Don’t Parent Out Of Guilt
Guilty feelings can lead to a long list of unhealthy parenting strategies — like giving in to your child after you’ve said no or overindulging your child in the holidays. Mentally strong parents know that although guilt is uncomfortable, it’s tolerable. They refuse to let their guilty feelings get in the way of making wise choices.
3. They Don’t Make Their Child The Centre Of The Universe
It can be tempting to make your life revolve around your child. But kids who think they’re the centre of the universe grow up to be self-absorbed and entitled. Mentally strong parents teach their kids to focus on what they have to offer the world, rather than what they’re owed.
4. They Don’t Allow Fear To Dictate Their Choices
Keeping your child inside a protective bubble could spare you a lot of anxiety. But keeping kids too safe stunts their development. Mentally strong parents view themselves as guides, not protectors. They allow their kids to go out into the world and experience life, even when it’s scary to let go.
5. They Don’t Give Their Child Power Over Them
Kids who dictate what the family is going to eat for dinner, or those who orchestrate how to spend their weekends, have too much power. Becoming more like an equal — or even the boss — isn’t healthy for kids. Mentally strong parents empower kids to make appropriate choices while maintaining a clear hierarchy.
6. They Don’t Expect Perfection
High expectations are healthy, but expecting too much from kids will backfire. Mentally strong parents recognize that their kids are not going to excel at everything they do. Rather than push their kids to be better than everyone else, they focus on helping them become the best versions of themselves.
7. They Don’t Let Their Child Avoid Responsibility
You won’t catch a mentally strong parent saying things like, “I don’t want to burden my kids with chores. Kids should just be kids.” They expect children to pitch in and learn the skills they need to become responsible citizens. They proactively teach their kids to take responsibility for their choices and they assign them age-appropriate duties.
8. They Don’t Shield Their Child From Pain
It’s tough to watch kids struggle with hurt feelings or anxiety. But, kids need practice and first-hand experience tolerating discomfort. Mentally strong parents provide their kids with the support and help that they need in coping with pain so their kids can gain confidence in their ability to deal with whatever hardships life throws their way.
9. They Don’t Feel Responsible For Their Child’s Emotions
It can be tempting to cheer your kids up when they’re sad or calm them down when they’re angry. But, regulating your kids’ emotions for them prevents them from gaining social and emotional skills. Mentally strong parents teach their children how to be responsible for their own emotions so they don’t depend on others to do it for them.
10. They Don’t Prevent Their Child From Making Mistakes
Whether your child gets a few questions wrong in his maths homework or he forgets to pack his cleats for soccer practice, mistakes can be life’s greatest teacher. Mentally strong parents let their kids mess up — and they allow them to face the natural consequences of their actions.
11. They Don’t Confuse Discipline With Punishment
Punishment is about making kids suffer for their wrongdoing. Discipline is about teaching them how to do better in the future. And while mentally strong parents do give out consequences, their ultimate goal is to teach kids to develop the self-discipline they’ll need to make better choices down the road.
12. They Don’t Take Shortcuts To Avoid Discomfort
Giving in when a child whines or doing your kids’ chores for them, is fast and easy. But, those shortcuts teach kids unhealthy habits. It takes mental strength to tolerate discomfort and avoid those tempting shortcuts.
13. They Don’t Lose Sight Of Their Values
In today’s fast-paced world it’s easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day business of homework, chores, and sports practices. Those hectic schedules — combined with the pressure to look like parent of the year on social media cause many people to lose sight of what’s really important in life. Mentally strong parents know their values and they ensure their family lives according to them.
What I have shared here will, I trust, provide some food for thought to you all, as it has done for me as a parent, grandparent and an educator who has seen so much that has changed for parents and families over the years.
As we all know, parenting is not an exact science and particularly in this fast-moving, information and digital age when there are so many influences that make bringing up children that much more challenging. On the positive side, however, there are those in the fields of child and family psychology, like Amy Morin, who can and do provide counsel, guidance and support.
Make the most of and enjoy the wonder associated with parenting and all that it brings alive each day - for your children and indeed for yourselves.
Warm regards and God’s blessings as this new half term gets underway.
Richard StanleyInterim Headmaster
